Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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