when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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