Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
