Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
