i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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