He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
So many bounce houses so little time
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
