margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
