Sry I called you an 8
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
