Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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