Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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