It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
