He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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