Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
