I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
