my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Boobs speak an international language.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
