yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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