I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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