The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
