Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
