Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
