bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I know her cup size but not her name....
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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