going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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