The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
