I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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