I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
