Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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