can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
