people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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