I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
