therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
