just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
