Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
