Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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