Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
