break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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