Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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