Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize