Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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