her vagina looked like bernie madoff
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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