i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
