I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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