I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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