We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
