The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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