No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
