You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Randomize
