I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
