You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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