hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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