Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
