I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
